Thresholds (Young Adults)
We cross many thresholds in life - the threshold of puberty, the threshold that takes us from adolescence to adulthood, the threshold of being marriage or partnerships, thresholds between career changes, from working life to retired life and so on. Each threshold carries with it its own set of hopes and aspirations as well as anxieties and doubts.
Boys and girls enter puberty with information that they may have received from their parents, Biology classes in schools, peers and the internet. Physiological changes were self-evident but the world of feelings were less obvious and more confusing - from arousals and attractions, from fear of rejections and need for peer approval, the want of defiance and the search for one's own identities.
Adolescents are more confident today than ever. With all forms of information available on the finger-click, choices and options available, the awareness of one's own rights and entitlements and a more-than-ever-before encouragement to succeed and achieve, the world is at one's doorstep. As they transition from the teen to the young adult, from school to college, from college to becoming a professional, from having crushes to dating and getting into relationships, the world calls for them to make choices with responsibility, and take responsibility for consequence of the choices.
No one teaches anyone about marriage, romance and partnerships. It is assumed that life teaches us how to live our relationships and partnerships in our personal life, nurture them, foster them and protect them so that we make them meaningful and those relationships, in turn, make our lives meaningful. The models of partnership and marriage are derived from the ones we have seen as we have grown up, typically from our families and communities, and from films and books we have seen and read. The marketplace sells us models too, one that convinces us how love ought to be, how we find happiness in relationships and what denotes trust and intimacy. And when these relationships are put to test, we try to cope with disappointments, betrayals and a sense of loss that finds solace in estrangement, therapy or divorce.
Much of our lives, from the time we are born, we are used to having our parents care for us, worry for us, protect us and give us their unconditional attention and support. The relationship may change as we grow up and become adults, when we get married or become parents ourselves, yet - even then, we may feel that they will always be available whenever we need them. And then, we find at some stage, they become vulnerable, infirm, they are no longer as decisive and stable as they used to be - physically, psychologically and emotionally. Often, it feels like they have become our children, they seek time and unconditional support, if not physically but emotionally. And we transition from being children to our parents to becoming parental to our vulnerable parents.
Change Mantras offers a Personal Growth Programme called Thresholds that are meant for anyone from young adolescents to the elderly. These Programmes are meant to support people prepare themselves for the psychological role taking these transitions demand and make life-changes meaningful. When we are unable to cope with the challenges of thresholds successfully, we are left with residues of confusion, guilt and shame, and this affects our inner selves that impacts our personal and professional lives and prevent us from discovering our own potentials.